I feel all sorts of guilty for not having done anything productive for society whatsoever after my emphatic last entry. All that stuff I said about wanting to get involved and help the world and contribute was completely idealistic bull-oney. The reality is, after #2 was born (a belated welcome to baby Beau, now a solid six months old), my life has taken a serious turn for The Busy. I may have to leave it up to the rest of the 99% to take care of business for a while.
The utter chaos of the earliest months post-new baby has subsided, no doubt, but left in its wake endless flows of:
- Diapers to change
- Bottles to clean
- Laundry to wash, dry, and leave in the basket in a heap until we need it
- Miscellany to pick up from the floor (e.g., keys, measuring cups, plastic bananas, choo-choo trains, puzzle pieces, books, cracker crumbs, babydolls, toilet paper and teabags)
- Meals to prepare so that they can mysteriously disappear into the deepest crevices of the highchair
- Hand-me-downs to sort
If you're among the friends whom I've neglected for the last several months, please forgive me, and know that I really do love you. Let's pencil in a lunch date for 2030 or thereabout.
Even though Clark works super-duper hard when I'm away, I still think I have the losing end of the deal. Aside from the long plane rides and endless hours in conferences and meetings, which are less than glamorous, it feels completely wrong to leave my family behind and jet to another continent for a few days. I don't mean morally wrong. I mean physiologically wrong, like some acrimonious undertone in the Universe is causing my cells to malfunction. My mantra is that I do it for my kids' futures and the privilege of doing good work every day, which is true, but it doesn't really make me feel better.
The only comforting thing is the fact that my babies are seemingly well-adjusted in spite of my occasional abandonment. They may even be better for it.
#1 (Dollie, who deserves her name), who just passed 21 months, started walking exactly one week after the baby came. This development has been both a blessing and a curse. It means, on the one hand, that we don't have to carry her around all of the time; but, on the other, that we instead have to chase her around most of the time. We have to be prepared at any moment to prevent her from stepping on or smothering her brother, or trying to share her carrot or cookie with him.
The good news is, Dollie is fairly loving toward the baby. I'm sure after six months that she's already lost the memory of her brief stint of only-childhood. She's not 100% enthusiastic about the attention he commands, but she's pretty good at asserting herself when she has unmet emotional needs. It could be much worse: I have a colleague whose son repeatedly tried to squish his baby sister with his Big Wheel; another whose kid tried to stuff the new baby in the mailbox to send him back. Dollie has not been so resentful. Most of the danger she presents stems from either over-affection or the general hazard of toddlerhood. (See this video of Dollie cracking Beau up.)
For his part, Beau is a pretty mellow dude. He basically tolerates his big sister's intensity and sometimes grabs her hair in protest (or, perhaps, reflex). He's sweet and he smells delicious, which is amazing since we rarely get a chance bathe him. Poor Beau. As a second child, he's a lot more neglected than the first one was at the same stage. But he hangs in there.
He's been a good sleeper for the most part, which is just about all a parent can ask for. Seriously, it's as good as it gets. Sure, you hope your kids eat and don't cry incessantly or destroy things or get sick all the time... but having kids who usually sleep is absolutely golden. We've learned from experience that if your little ones sleep through the night, you should just keep your mouth shut about the rest of your complaints when you talk with other parents or they may never speak to you again.
I intended to dedicate a full blog to Dollie's impressive recent language acquisition, but she's so far along that it's already old news. Our favorite word is "squirrel," or "querla," as she pronounces it. She's learning many words in both Spanish and English (gato/kitty; agua/water; jugo/juice; leche/milk; bath/bano, dozens more). She's also grasping important grammatical concepts, especially the possessive verb form ("My this!"; "No, Buck, my ball!"; "My car!"; "No, Beau, mine!"). And she increasingly understands specificity/nuance. Clark told me he pointed to a picture in a book last week and said "bird." Dollie blinked and corrected him: "eagle."
The other thing I've been meaning to blog about is Dollie's boyfriend, Little Graham. (There's a "Big Graham" at her daycare, too. Incidentally, Little Graham is well on his way to outsizing him.) I am definitely not the type to impose the social construct of "romance" upon 1 1/2 year olds just because they are friends, and she's a girl and he's a boy.
No. They are actually boyfriend and girlfriend. They kiss and hug and roll around in the grass; they follow each other around; they call after one another when the other goes to get a diaper change; she bosses him around and he generally does what she says.
I totally endorse and encourage the relationship. My feeling is that if Dollie can lock it in with Graham early and skip the whole dating scene in her teens-twenties, perfect. Graham's a pretty sweet kid. His parents are cool, and I definitely feel like we could all hang out if we become family some day, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed.
*****
My goal is that next time I write I will have done something actually meaningful (or at least interesting), like camp out with the Occupy folks downtown or write a letter to the editor on some critical issue. But I may have to give myself an out because I'm realizing that substance just might be too ambitious for this stage of my life.
Keywords: Occupy Wall Street, 99%, Parenthood, toddlers, new baby, laundry, diaper, very exciting life
The good news is, Dollie is fairly loving toward the baby. I'm sure after six months that she's already lost the memory of her brief stint of only-childhood. She's not 100% enthusiastic about the attention he commands, but she's pretty good at asserting herself when she has unmet emotional needs. It could be much worse: I have a colleague whose son repeatedly tried to squish his baby sister with his Big Wheel; another whose kid tried to stuff the new baby in the mailbox to send him back. Dollie has not been so resentful. Most of the danger she presents stems from either over-affection or the general hazard of toddlerhood. (See this video of Dollie cracking Beau up.)
For his part, Beau is a pretty mellow dude. He basically tolerates his big sister's intensity and sometimes grabs her hair in protest (or, perhaps, reflex). He's sweet and he smells delicious, which is amazing since we rarely get a chance bathe him. Poor Beau. As a second child, he's a lot more neglected than the first one was at the same stage. But he hangs in there.
He's been a good sleeper for the most part, which is just about all a parent can ask for. Seriously, it's as good as it gets. Sure, you hope your kids eat and don't cry incessantly or destroy things or get sick all the time... but having kids who usually sleep is absolutely golden. We've learned from experience that if your little ones sleep through the night, you should just keep your mouth shut about the rest of your complaints when you talk with other parents or they may never speak to you again.
I intended to dedicate a full blog to Dollie's impressive recent language acquisition, but she's so far along that it's already old news. Our favorite word is "squirrel," or "querla," as she pronounces it. She's learning many words in both Spanish and English (gato/kitty; agua/water; jugo/juice; leche/milk; bath/bano, dozens more). She's also grasping important grammatical concepts, especially the possessive verb form ("My this!"; "No, Buck, my ball!"; "My car!"; "No, Beau, mine!"). And she increasingly understands specificity/nuance. Clark told me he pointed to a picture in a book last week and said "bird." Dollie blinked and corrected him: "eagle."
The other thing I've been meaning to blog about is Dollie's boyfriend, Little Graham. (There's a "Big Graham" at her daycare, too. Incidentally, Little Graham is well on his way to outsizing him.) I am definitely not the type to impose the social construct of "romance" upon 1 1/2 year olds just because they are friends, and she's a girl and he's a boy.
No. They are actually boyfriend and girlfriend. They kiss and hug and roll around in the grass; they follow each other around; they call after one another when the other goes to get a diaper change; she bosses him around and he generally does what she says.
I totally endorse and encourage the relationship. My feeling is that if Dollie can lock it in with Graham early and skip the whole dating scene in her teens-twenties, perfect. Graham's a pretty sweet kid. His parents are cool, and I definitely feel like we could all hang out if we become family some day, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed.*****
My goal is that next time I write I will have done something actually meaningful (or at least interesting), like camp out with the Occupy folks downtown or write a letter to the editor on some critical issue. But I may have to give myself an out because I'm realizing that substance just might be too ambitious for this stage of my life.
Keywords: Occupy Wall Street, 99%, Parenthood, toddlers, new baby, laundry, diaper, very exciting life
